The Dangers of Erasing Gender: Mormon Women, Motherhood, and the Priesthood

Let me start by saying that I understand the weight of some of the statements I'm going to make. I've always been cautious about making blanket statements about people, especially where gender is concerned. To me, it's like nails on a chalkboard to hear people say things like, "men are natural born protectors" or "women are inherently more nurturing than men are." The variation within genders far outweighs the variation between genders. However, Heavenly Father has designed a plan in which there are essential differences between males and females regarding the individual's divine nature and associated responsibilities and potential.

I've written before about the Proclamation and my personal interpretation. As time has passed, I've been hearing a lot more of these shared sentiments across the pulpit in sacrament meeting - the Proclamation never says that women can't pursue careers, one parent isn't necessarily restricted to certain tasks, etc. And I totally agree with those interpretations. People (ahem - Mormons) are finally waking up and realizing that a woman who aspires to be a doctor isn't going to be struck down because she has passions and aspirations outside of raising her children. Heaven forbid. However, I think there is a certain danger in focusing so much on saying that men and women should be doing exactly the same things because gender should have no say in responsibilities. Let me explain.

Recently, I had the opportunity to interview several women in the church who support the Ordain Women movement. It was an extremely eye-opening experience, and while I do not agree with the aims of the movement itself, I more fully understood some of the challenges that stand in the way to understanding the inherent differences between men and women and how gender relates to motherhood, fatherhood, and the Priesthood. One interviewee struck a chord with me when I asked her how she would respond to the idea that men and women depend on each other because they need each other to grow - they each bring different things to the table. She thoughtfully responded with the statement, "I think human beings depend on each other." In no way do I disagree with this statement. This is why the church has visiting teaching, home teaching, service committees, wards, stakes, missions - essentially, this is why the Church exists. As children of God, we are to learn and grow and help others do the same, regardless of gender. But the family is the central unit in which this learning and growing occurs, and only a man and woman together can make the covenants in the House of the Lord and bring souls to earth to shepherd them back to our Heavenly Father. In the words of Elder Packer: "Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman." (More on this later.) Men and women do need and depend on each other, and when we erase gender and say that only human beings depend on each other, we're undermining the plan that our Heavenly Father has designed to bring life into this world to progress on to exaltation.

On a fundamental level, I am not just a human being. I am a woman, and that means something. I've struggled to pinpoint exactly what that means, and I'm getting there step by step. Again, I hate to say things like, "All men are this way" and, "All women have been endowed with this gift" because I understand that not all women want to have children, and not all men bend over backwards to bring home the bacon (unintentional alliteration for the win). I need to phrase this delicately. When we get caught up in the logic that gender should have no influence on responsibilities or pursuits, there is danger in that we tend to treat men and women as exactly the same. We've gotten so caught up in our drive for egalitarianism that we've forgotten that different does not mean unequal.

So I'm going to tell you what it means to me that I'm a woman. First, let me rewind to a time when I didn't understand my place as a woman. Here's an excerpt from my field notes in Thailand when I was interviewing women whose husbands had taken wives after them. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have some kind of existential crisis at least once a week. Here's an example from that summer:

       "I began to go through a bit of a crisis (haha, I even called it a crisis in my field notes) yesterday when we were visiting the polygamous women living in the same house...I tried to mentally place myself in the position of a wife whose husband decides to marry another wife. What would my relationship be like with her? How would we feel about him? Would one of us love him more? How would I feel knowing that right now, my husband was having sex with his other wife, who was possibly my friend? How would I feel to know that another woman could make him feel that way about her and that those intimate experiences that we had together were not unique to us alone? During our visit, I didn't become all that distraught - when I got home and started to write, however, I became very upset. Because it seems to me that that is, in fact, the natural order of things. It makes more sense for men to take multiple wives, even if I don't like the idea of it, in order to have more children. It doesn't make as much sense [evolutionarily] for a woman to take several husbands. And in my mind, this difference between genders reduces my view of women to the station of baby-makers and servants to a husband who can go off and do his work (which is not always very fun in and of itself, I know) and be leaders of a community and of the world...I know that all people are equal in the sight of God, but the patriarchal order of things [troubles me].

        In my life, I've known so many men who have left...abused...didn't love their wives...became addicted to pornography...and on and on and on and on. I'm not saying that all men are like this,  but I kept coming back to this thought last night. Why would Heavenly Father create a sex so vulnerable to being raped and abused and scorned and then create a patriarchal order in which the sex that is prone to raping and abusing and scorning constitute the leaders? How could Heavenly Father watch His daughters go through so much suffering at the hands of the other sex and still tell me that my greatest satisfaction will be serving humbly as a wife and mother in Zion? I know that I will accomplish much, and that I have been directed to lay these things aside to serve as a wife and mother. Why are my accomplishments not as valuable? Why aren't they enough? Why do I have to set my passions aside? Why do I need to make babies and support my husband in his passions? Why do I need to be expected to marry someone who might leave or abuse or hurt or not love his wife or become addicted to pornography?

       Even as I write this things, I know that my view is limited. I know that there is more. I know that Heavenly Father's daughters are precious to him. But part of me wants to just adopt children on my own and raise them myself. I could pursue whatever I wanted with whatever money I make and wherever I go. I could adopt a couple of children and love them like nobody has loved them before. I could teach them about love and work, heartache and joy. I could raise them on my own. I wouldn't have to worry about being left or abused or hurt. I wouldn't have to worry about my husband finding another woman and wanting to leave to be with her. I wouldn't have to worry about my husband keeping me but feeling the need to have a woman on the side. I wouldn't have to worry that I might not be enough to keep a husband around. 

       And so I cried and cried last night. Because I don't understand my place as a woman in this plan of God's. And I won't ever be enough for someone who will probably leave or abuse me anyway. Where am I in the scriptures? Am I just the child-bearer of a prophet? Am I not to lead and to learn but to "toil and to spin and to work" in the home? I know there are good women in the scriptures, but I just haven't truly understood them yet. I don't know where they are. I don't know the place I have. I don't understand my worth."

Oh, my gosh. Tell me this was my mid-life crisis and that part of my life is already over. I'm actually laughing reading through that. I mean, it's not funny, but it's funny how much I've changed in the months since then. Now let me explain where my thinking has completely shifted. I certainly don't have the answers to all my questions. I don't know why polygamy ever had to be part of God's plan, and why only men hold the Priesthood, and why women are biologically the ones who bear the burden of child rearing and everything. 

But let me tell you what being a woman means to me. I have been endowed with the ability to bring life into the world. When the gravity of this ability really truly struck me for the first time, I actually felt kind of bad for men. They will never know what it's like to have this precious son or daughter of God inside of you, growing and kicking and becoming attached to you. They will never know what it's like for this tiny human to be entirely dependent on your ability to give bodily nourishment while they physically and emotionally attach themselves to you. I have been endowed with the divine responsibility to become partners with God in leading these tiny souls back to their Heavenly parents. If this is not the most important, influential task in the scope of all eternity, I don't know what is. This, of course, in no way denigrates the sacred station of fatherhood. Men play a critical role in leading their precious children back to their Heavenly parents, and a lot of this has to do with using priesthood authority to exercise priesthood power in the home. Your response to the following idea might be, "But we're in the 21st century now," but if Heavenly Father created one sex to primarily rear and nurture His precious children, and one to do everything in their power to protect and provide in order for that to happen, then so be it. Obviously, the two roles overlap more closely than that description provides, but who am I to throw a wrench in that plan?

God's purpose in creating two genders always comes back to the same thing: families. Man and woman, through the proper authority of temple covenants, bring Heavenly Father's children into this world to undergo the necessary experience of mortality that leads up to exaltation. (If you're not Mormon, this probably sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Ask the missionaries!)

So, you might ask: What about people born with both male and female genitalia? Those who struggle with gender dysphoria? Gender reassignment at birth? What about those who struggle with same-gender attraction? What about wives whose husbands leave them and they must care for their children on their own? Vice versa? What about couples who struggle with infertility? Women who never get the opportunity to marry or have children?

Well, I have good news. While we must do our best to deal with these issues in a sensitive and careful manner here in mortality, we don't have to have all the answers. Because at the end of the day, God takes care of it all. Yeah, this probably isn't what you want to hear. But I don't think we were meant to know or understand everything in this life. God knows the whys that we may never know in this life. But I do know this: Gender is an eternal characteristic, and it extends far beyond the mortal challenges of this life. Every individual has been assigned, from the time we were born of our Heavenly parents - maybe even before, I don't know how it works - their gender and associated divine roles. And because gender is eternal, we will have opportunities in the next life that may not be available to us now. Do I know how this works? No. Am I worried about it? No. I just know that there are very real challenges we must deal with in this life, but that they will be brought to light in the next. Each challenge is a trial of our faith, and obedience must come first. It is through obedience to God's commandments that we are protected. We can never fail when we are obedient to God's commandments. 

But I haven't gotten through all of this based on blind faith. Obedience is a start. And personal revelation has always been and always will be available to us. I may not have a complete understanding of gender and the divine inheritance of both genders, but I've come to understand it in a light that I never have before.

First of all, I get a little miffed when people talk about women not having the Priesthood. I really do understand where a lot of these women are coming from - I've spent a great deal of time talking to them. But I wish I could just transfer my worldview into their heads. I already have the Priesthood. No, I haven't been ordained, and I personally don't think women will ever be ordained to the Priesthood because officiating in essential ordinances for exaltation is not in my job description as a woman. (Obviously, that's not all the Priesthood is, but to just water it down a bit...) I believe women take a greater role in the Priesthood than we realize. Think about this. We have the essential Priesthood keys on the earth to perform necessary ordinances. But we don't currently have the keys of creation or resurrection (this is a great talk by the way). However, I, as a woman, have the potential to carry a creation in my body and bring it into the world. I have the ability to give life. If that's not an essential component or shadow to the Priesthood power of creation, I'm not really sure what is. My future spouse and I are partners in the Priesthood. It is just as much my responsibility to uphold, honor, and understand the Priesthood as it is his. In no way do we differ in that regard. The power of the Priesthood is involved in such acts as bringing life into the world and sustaining it. I also take part in the priesthood when I accept any calling under priesthood authority. Yes, this includes visiting teaching. As an LDS woman, you have been called to watch over your sisters under the direct authority of the Priesthood...so you sure as heck better do it. You will be held accountable under the same judgment that men are.

Sheri Dew, in Women and the Priesthood, talks about the difference between Priesthood keys, Priesthood authority, and Priesthood power.

• Keys = the right of presidency; few men at one time actually hold very many keys of the Priesthood; they are dispersed throughout the men of the church who hold different responsibilities
• Authority: required to perform ordinances and conferred through ordination
• Power: power of God that emanates from the Priesthood; available to everyone, even those who are not members of our church

So, how does the Priesthood interact with motherhood? Sheri Dew provides this equation in the same text:

• Priesthood + womanhood = Exaltation

Alrighty. I struggle with this one a bit, I'll be honest. I've never equated the Priesthood with manhood, the Priesthood does not belong to men, and like I explained, I believe that mothers/women are equal participants in the Priesthood. However, sometimes I have to wonder if there's just a language issue here. What if - just entertain the thought for a moment - what if there is a part of motherhood that is so intertwined with the Priesthood (as I've expressed), that we just don't have a way to express it in words? What if the word "Priesthood" has just been culturally associated with "manhood" over time, and in reality, "womanhood" only stands alone because we've made it so in the way we speak about it? What if there is something so inherently sacred and special about womanhood, and we just don't have a name like "Priesthood" to accompany it to describe our primary responsibilities? I don't have the answers here, they're just things to think about. That maybe we are just limited in our understanding due to our mortal state - and as you should know by now, that is usually how things on this earth work. 

Another part of this book that entirely shifted my perspective on motherhood is found in a short story about a husband and wife talking in mixed company about their jobs and what not. (You, know - "What do you do?" "Well, actually, I'm a stay-at-home mother." "Oh. Well, then, what does your husband do?") Someone mentioned how awesome the wife/mother was for supporting him in his career, and the thought suddenly struck the husband/father that he was the one supporting her. He was the one working and providing for her to be able to bring these lives into the world and shepherd them along their journey back to their Heavenly Father. I mean, obviously we're not all going to be stay-at-home mothers or fit this traditional mold, but what's wrong with this traditional mold anyway? Nothing! Nothing at all! Yeah, there's a problem if we just see women as baby makers and unintelligent humans who need to stay in their place in the home (one of my favorite movies is Mona Lisa Smile). But I'm going to make a long shot and say that there will always be more women in the home than men, even as we move toward more egalitarianism. And there is nothing wrong with that. Good grief, can we just let people do what they want without overanalyzing everything and assuming that it's a problem that there are this many women at home and this many men in the workforce and blah, blah, blah. I mean, obviously, there's a problem if a woman faces discrimination and is treated like she needs to be at home merely because she is a woman. But there is nothing wrong with being the full-time gatekeeper of what should be the most sacred place on earth. That is a huge job and more important than what happens in Congress. Yup, I went there, said that. 

Every individual has a divine mission to fulfill in this life, and whether that means they stay in the home or have children while they get three degrees and travel the world doesn't matter. I will defend the traditional structure of the family every bit as much as I defend the the couple who decides the father needs to stay home with the children while the mother pursues a career. As long as both couples have worked out their situations with the Lord, I see no problem. In our 180 turnaround from the 1950s, we've begun to see women who choose to stay home as falling victim to a sexist system. But what we fail to see is the importance of rearing children. In a world that would have us put off families to pursue personal pleasures, decrease the number of children we decide to have, and put careers ahead of providing companionship and guidance for our children, we fail to see that the most important work done in the scope of all eternity is in the home. And biologically speaking, women are more often going to be the ones who to spend most of their time there with their children. 

So what do Mormon women get? As Sister Dew puts it, "potentially everything:" (I love this woman; I'm sorry I'm not sorry for making half this post about her.)

• the gift and power of the Holy Ghost
• personal revelation
• to be endowed in the temple with godly power and knowledge to access that power
• leading and teaching by the Spirit
• angels as our associates
• spiritual gifts
• blessings of the Atonement
• new and everlasting covenant of marriage
• rearing children as partners with the Almighty
• eternal life

Potentially, we get everything. In no way am I restricted. My potential is limitless. As a Mormon woman, I am one of the most powerful people in the world.

Women have been endowed with the sacred task of bearing children, and men have been entrusted with an  equally sacred task of using authority to provide spiritually saving ordinances for their children. Both are equally essential for the exaltation of all individuals. Our responsibilities go far beyond these tasks, but this is at the core of our identities as sons and daughters of Heavenly Parents. Those who say that these callings are not equal in nature will never be satisfied with differences between man and woman. As long as differences exist, they will call it inequality.

I'll risk sounding ultra-conservative to defend the family. I'll risk the criticism of many of my acquaintances who would like to tear every sentence of this apart. I'll risk sounding overly traditional to defend womanhood and motherhood. Because, as Glenn L. Pace once stated:

Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your divine nature and destiny.

Me and my best friend - one of the strongest Mormon women I know.

"I Want it Absolutely Clear"

I have mixed feelings about blogging because...well...once something is out there, you can't take it back, even if you delete it later. What is read is read. And I looked back at some of my blog posts tonight and laughed a bit because...haha. I realized how fired up I get when I write and how when I started this blogging project it was pretty evident that I was going through this weird merging-into-adulthood crisis and trying to be all "free bird." Truth be told, it's painfully funny to look back at that part of my life...but it's pretty interesting how much you can change in a year. Also, blogging is just super weird because you're putting your life on display for others, and sometimes I think we forget how much is the appropriate amount to put on display because we're hiding behind a computer screen, and we have these things inside of us that desperately want to be said.

So I thought I might do something a bit different with this post - write something that I would never want to take back or re-think. I've lost the mental ability to work on my thesis or other research projects, and I was sitting trying to think of something productive I could do without actually doing any work (something I've been spending a lot of time doing these days). And so I came to the conclusion that I could spend a little time reflecting on my beliefs and sharing them with people who may not know what I believe. Or who just need a little strength to get through their day.

I'm pretty sure everyone who is reading this knows that I'm Mormon, and that I've been a lifetime member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And if not, I'm sorry I haven't made that obvious to you. So I'll tell you a little bit about why I've made the conscious choice to remain in this Church, and just maybe, if you have some negative views of Mormons, I'll offer a different perspective than you've been exposed to.

My testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can't be explained in one blog post. It is entrenched in almost 21 years of sometimes heartbreaking, and yet glorious life experiences. I have felt the hand of God in my life more times than I can count, and sadly, I chose to turn away from it for some time during high school. I felt like I was going through this vicious cycle of trying to do everything I was told I should be doing...and then messing up and feeling like I was never going to be good enough, so why even try? Why pray to this God who I felt was an angry, jealous God that wanted me to repent every day when I messed up? Why did I have to focus on all the things I was doing wrong when I already experienced such a strong self-hatred for so many years? I spent much of high school clinically depressed and struggling with anorexia. In my life, I could control two things - my eating habits (which ironically, I completely lost control over), and my grades. Somehow, I've always had the ability to excel in every single class I've taken - mostly because I know how to study, not because I actually think I'm all that smart. If I could get perfect grades and somehow attain the perfect body (a five-year-long experience which I'm building up the courage to release in blog form) then I was worthy of being loved. I became this empty shell that simply existed. I would wake up for school, get ready like a robot, and survive each day, willing myself not to think about anything but what I was occupied doing at the present moment. "Right now, I am brushing my teeth. I am putting my toothbrush under the water. I am spitting into the sink and rinsing my mouth out." Thinking about anything but my actions at hand caused me too much pain.

I thought that God must detest me because I wasn't like the beautiful, sociable, spiritual young women at church. I was too tainted with too many personality flaws. I couldn't get over my skewed thought patterns (that I knew were wrong but continued anyway), and that was reason enough for me to just stop trying. God didn't want me. He wanted people with high self-esteem and happy spirits.

Little did I know that when I wept, the Savior wept. When I despaired, God's hand was fully extended to me. When I cried for help, He was already there holding me. The only thing standing in my way was the seduction of ignorance - of not pursuing the plan laid out for me by my Heavenly Father because that meant I was responsible for not messing up - which I would inevitably do. We so often talk about messing up like it's a bad thing. And while we shouldn't seek out opportunities to do wrong, each mistake does give us the opportunity to grow.

In the many paradoxes of the Gospel that I've learned about in my life (one that continues to baffle and amaze me is the reconciliation of God's justice and mercy), there is one in particular that is one of the most glorious of all. We were made in the image of God, and we are so very much like Him in terms of our potential. We can be like Him, but He is not like us. I'm having a hard time articulating this. He is.....above every mortal weakness that we experience. He doesn't hold onto our pasts like we hold onto our own and others'. We were meant to experience mortal inhibitions...irrational anger, irritation, an aversion to forgiveness, jealousy...Otherwise, there would be no point. We each suffer weaknesses in character. We weren't meant to be perfect on this earth. But the point is to become like God in overcoming these mortal tendencies. By learning how to control, to love unconditionally, to forgive, to practice mercy. This whole time (in high school) I imagined a constantly displeased God who held onto my past sins like I held onto my resentment for people who had hurt me very deeply in the past.

But He's not like that. When we recognize our faults and come to Him in sincere repentance, He simply...gives us a clean slate. He knows that we are prone to mortal weaknesses because of the Fall of Adam and Eve - an absolutely essential component to His plan for His children. Without the Fall, we could not become mortal and experience weaknesses to overcome, in turn becoming like God. It is also absolutely essential that we experience our own "Falls." It's impossible for us, in a mortal existence, not to sin. It's in our nature. But we learn to control and improve. God knows that we have weaknesses. And so, like I said, when we recognize our faults and come to Him in sincere repentance, He simply gives us a clean slate. Because Jesus Christ already suffered for our sins and paid the price that we might not suffer. As my New Testament teacher once told us [quoting someone else whose name unfortunately escapes me], "In some way that we do not understand, in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Savior lived your life from the day you were born to the day you died. Rather than experiencing a wave of suffering for everyone all at once, He awaited a long line of [billions of] people for whom to pay the price one by one."

Long before you even lived, He already experienced your loneliest night (yet another amazing paradox). He already knew what you felt like when [these are not necessarily representations of my own trials - just things that I know people deal with] your closest friend died, or when you were sexually abused, or when your father beat you, or when your mother left you, or when you hopelessly despaired that you could never recover from an addiction, or when you just thought it would be better for everyone if you died. This is why we are never alone. Because there is One who has already lived our lives every step of the way.

There is so much to learn from these mind-boggling paradoxes of mercy and grace. Can we learn to exhibit a little more compassion and grace to those around us? Can we learn to be a stand-in for the Savior to those who have wounded us beyond repair - or so we thought? Can we learn to practice God's mercy, and leave the judgment to God? Can we learn to let our pasts slide, along with those of others? To give everyone the same chance to forsake their pasts and be the person of their most inherent, divine nature? I have been reminded several times recently that the individuals who harm us suffer much more than we do from the infliction of their abuse. It is this gentle reminder that has given me the strength to be a stand-in for the Savior and offer quiet forgiveness and a friendly hand to those from whom I once cowered in fear. The Atonement covers absolutely everything, mortal weaknesses and transgressions included.

I stole my title from Elder Holland's talk about the Book of Mormon in which He stated:

“I want it absolutely clear when I stand before the judgement bar of God that I declared to the world, in the most straightforward language I could summon, that the Book of Mormon is true.”

I could write a whole other post about this Book and its truthfulness - in fact, why don't you just watch this talk? (You can't just read it and experience the fire raining down from Heaven that happens every time Elder Holland speaks.) It pretty much summarizes my feelings on the matter.

But I want to say the same statement here. I want it absolutely clear that I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lives and that He personally atoned for my sins. He loves each one of us and understands our circumstances completely. I want it clear that I have no doubt in my mind that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was divinely organized and its structure divinely inspired to carry the truth of the Gospel to all nations in modern times. I know that God has called prophets to lead and guide us today, just as in times of old. I know that God lives. I know that God has provided the Priesthood to allow worthy men to speak and act for God as if He were here on the earth and that all individuals have equal access to the blessings of the Priesthood. I cannot deny the hand of the Lord in my life, and I promise you that if you will seek out the truth and actively study and ask for wisdom from the Lord, that it will be granted to you. Of this I am more sure than anything. 

In Defense of the Humanities and the F-Word

I'm starting to hate the word feminist. It's becoming one of those words that carries fast-acting shock value every time someone utters it. You know, kind of like the actual F-word and those other raunchy ones. I'm starting to hate the feeling that every time someone says that word, they are directing it at me, expecting that I need to come up with some sort of defense for claiming to be a feminist. Some sort of defense for my life choice to study gender and its connections to culture within the fields of psychology and anthropology. I'm tired of people treading on eggshells around me because they're afraid of offending me whenever they make a comment or joke about women. I enjoy a "barefoot and pregnant" joke as much as the next person, I promise.

But the one that really took the cake this week was...well, let me see if I can paraphrase:

"Feminism is pointless. It was good back when women needed to get the right to vote, yeah, I can see that. But now it's just done. There's no need for it. All men were created equal and that's that. All that study in the humanities and everything, it's just so dumb. We don't need it."

You would be so proud of me. I kept my mouth shut and just respectfully listened to the conversation die off. (Mostly because I've gotten so tired of hearing this kind of stuff.) But I've had some time to sit and stew over some of this.

I'm sorry, but at what point did it become pointless to study humanity? When did it become stupid to study the way people interact with each other, the way that humans connect and form groups and develop and grow and think? Why is study in the "hard sciences" so much more valuable and worthwhile to the world? Guess who gave rise to, through use of socially constructed language, the ideas in their raw form of centimeters and neurons and particles and mitochondria? Humanity. Guess who gave them names and used socially constructed methods (and, of course, often divinely inspired) to experiment on these things and come to learn more about the world? Humanity. Guess who studies language, culture, cognition, and the processes behind which God drives us to be able to experiment on these "tangible" and therefore "more valid" objects of study? Social scientists and those in the humanities...in other words, humanity.

Don't get me wrong. Scientific development throughout all of history has been absolutely incredible and mind-boggling. I'm simply suggesting that we stop looking down at other disciplines of study and label them as less worthwhile, prestigious, or intelligent because they study humanity in a less "tangible" context. I value learning how to think critically, break down arguments, and theoretically back up arguments. And if you can learn how to use these techniques in any field of study, you will only be better for it. How is it that we've come to see people who study mathematics, medicine, engineering, and other typically high-paying fields of study as the real scholars of society? Why, when prompted to name humanity's greatest developments, do we list off medical technology, the latest electronics, and modes of transportation when rarely does anyone mention developments in literature, music, and progress in modern therapy methods?

Let me illustrate an example of the importance of study in the social sciences.

Let's say, for instance, that you are a doctor desiring to join Doctors Without Borders. You must have a sound understanding of the local ideologies concerning the western biomedical model and how that fits into their scope of traditional practices in order to best approach the locals in developing an agreeable system of medical practice. Who does this type of work? Most often anthropologists.

In one of the most well-known books on Hmong studies, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall, Anne Fadiman recounts stories relating the dissonance between Hmong beliefs and the use of the Western biomedical system by American “acculturation” of Hmong immigrants to the United States. She points out that a Hmong American individual suffering from a physical illness is more likely to stop taking a medication preceding the prescribed date due to the notion that if the medication hasn’t proven effective by this point, he or she should seek a new method of curing. In traditional Hmong shamanism, when any factor poses a threat to health or well-being, it must be solved with an appropriate method. If such a method (i.e. a hu plig ritual to call the soul and diagnose the problem) proves ineffective, then an alternate option must be sought out and implemented. In this case, if the medication doesn’t work within what is deemed an appropriate time frame, the method would be terminated and a new one likewise implemented. (If you want to read an excellent piece expanding on this topic, I will refer you to one of my professor's publications entitled "Is It the Spirit or the Body?": Syncretism of Health Beliefs Among Hmong Immigrants to Alaska.) Therefore, research on Hmong conceptions of health care and spiritual matters is needed to facilitate doctor-patient communication and mutual understanding. 

It's all about understanding people to better their lives and the way that society functions. This kind of work takes months and years of interviewing, administering other types of informative tests, coding and analyzing data, writing, designing appropriate systematic methods of collecting data, and attaining a sound theoretical understanding of research and communication to make a difference in this world. I consider this one of our most important methods of science. 

If you're curious about what I want to do, then...I want to employ these types of methods in a study of international development and involvement in cultural gender issues - like issues surrounding eradication female genital cutting, for instance. Are we really going about this the right way, and in a lot of places, does it even really need to be eradicated? In my opinion, the answer to both of these questions is no, for now at least. (At some point in the future, I'll probably write about this very topic on this very blog.)

I study humanity. And I also have a passion for studying gender. Why? Because from the moment I was born, my gender affected everything about my life. I look back on every major trial I've had in life, and some portion of it has to do with my gender (and others' genders) and how I've come to fit into society and my conception of humanity. And I believe that every individual's gender - male or female - impacts their struggles, their ideas, their contributions, you name it. Gender is a divine characteristic of our identities as children of God. What reason is there that I can't be fascinated by how it operates differently in various cultures?

As far as feminism is concerned, I claim to be a feminist because historically, women have almost always been disadvantaged. And I want to help individuals who suffer from certain gendered disadvantages - or more importantly, from perceptions of presumed gendered disadvantages - overcome their trials and reach their fullest potential. Note that I do not only mean women. Of course men suffer from gendered struggles as well. And to do that, I need to study theory and gender and counseling and culture and writing and....humanity. 

I don't hate men. Actually....I love men. I want to marry one someday. And have babies with him. And be a mother...even be a stay-at-home mom for a time and support him in his dreams while I live mine. I don't believe in the Priesthood ordination of women because men and women are different and we have different roles. And I don't understand all of this, but I have faith that God will do what needs to be done to take care of any and all of this. Do I dare say this and be a feminist? Yes.

And for those who believe I went on some feminist rampage throughout Thailand to "bring down patriarchy" or whatever, this is what I was really doing. Please read my abstract here for the thesis I'm currently writing.

Dissonance between traditional Hmong beliefs and American mental health services is evident in the United States. Current family therapy ideologies (especially in cities with a high population of Hmong immigrants) must expand to include a greater understanding of Hmong kinship practices and traditional beliefs. In order to examine the importance of such factors, this study serves as a person-centered ethnography based in a village of northern Thailand geared toward understanding the factors upon which Hmong women in a polygynous context tend to base their decisions to commit to marriage. All three case studies (one divorced, one separated, and one cohabiting with the husband and second wife) decided to remain committed to polygynous husbands primarily for reasons involving their children’s relationships to their clans, ritual practices, and foundations of belief. Throughout the course of the interviews, the prevailing notion suggested that within the traditional Hmong kinship system, children benefit more from remaining in close proximity and emotional contact with the patrilineal clan to facilitate functional relationships and learn clan-specific ancestral practices. In these cases, the well-being of the children becomes a greater factor in a woman’s decision to remain married, as opposed to the relationship between husband and wife. In addition, the concept of karma plays a major role in Hmong women’s beliefs about their station in life and marriage. These underlying decision-making factors must be more heavily weighted in the context of family therapy to yield greater benefits for Hmong people seeking help for marital and familial conflict.

Anyway, I hope I've stirred up a little bit of thought in your mind, at the very least. If anything, I just want this blog to be a place where people learn how to be just a tiny bit more open-minded.