Burning Questions

Sometimes, I think I've finally done it. I've finally established myself as the individual I want to be for the rest of my life. But I keep being given experiences that continue to mold and shape me into the person I need to become. In fact, it's rather exhausting. I get through something really hard and feel completely content to continue life at my own pace, and then I realize that I still need to deal with some things from my past or begin a new challenging process. And it will never end. But one of the great enigmas of life is that something can be so exhausting and so exhilarating at the same time. It's only been a week, and I've already changed so much. My eyes have been opened to so many new things, and my interactions with the people here teach me something with every encounter. I can't wait to get a start on my field work to learn about the Hmoob people and just a little bit more about the world.

I'm astounded at how little we really know about the world, at how limited research methods are, at how once we answer one question it opens the door to a million more. I'm humbled at the prospect of trying to learn from these people whose everyday lives are being interrupted by a few Westerners attempting to answer some questions about humanity in the world of academics. I keep laughing because my dad's voice runs through my mind pretty often about the academics of social sciences: "To what end? I understand the questions, but why study them? Wouldn't it be all researched out by now?" And this question....I have asked myself many times. What do our limited research methods really allow us to claim or do anyway? We never get truly random samples or talk to enough people or conduct good enough interviews (and the list never ends) to make a definite claim about humanity. We only add hopefully well-supported arguments to theories about humanity. So what's the point?

I'm smart enough. I know that. I would get through any schooling I wanted to. I could be an engineer or a doctor or a nurse. I could be a lawyer if I wanted to. But I don't want to. Some people really do care about these professions, but I think too many people chase these options because they'll make more money doing them. And that money will make some people happy, to a certain extent. But I don't care about the money. I'm not going to waste my time and happiness pursuing a temporary security blanket doing something that I hate. I know that I have talents and passions when it comes to cultural and gender studies. And so I will figure out along the way what I'm going to do with my experiences. I laughed today with my professor because I still have no idea what to do. Yes, I think I want to go into social work, but I believe my somewhat-edited frustration voiced to him was: "I just have these burning questions in my soul about these women that I want to answer and explore. But I don't want to do research for the rest of my life or be a professor or get stuck in academics. I want to work in the practical field, but I have all these theories I want to explore on the side. I can't figure out how to merge the two or how to find out what I would love doing." But anyway, I got off track. I know I'll figure it out someday because life moves on, whether we're ready for it or not, and I have found that God has always led me to the exact circumstances where He needs me and where I need to be. 

Back to the money part. That sounds kind of self-righteous, I guess. "I don't care about the money. I just want to do some good." But really, I've come to realize that we have an extremely skewed perception of poverty in the United States. I grew up thinking that we were always hurting for money and that I shouldn't ever spend a penny if I could help it. I always had enough food, though. I always had enough clothes, a stellar education, a first-world roof over my head, adequate health care, and so much more. The majority of people here can't claim as much. We joke about being poor college students when our cab drivers assume that we're rich because we're Americans, but I don't think they're so off the mark. I'm in Thailand, for heaven's sake, doing research in the social sciences because I feel like it. That opportunity is open to, like, maybe 2% of the world. (Not sure how accurate that statistic is, but you get my general point.) I am and always will be just fine because of where I was born, who I was born to, and the opportunities that those factors present to me. So why not use whatever funding I do have to expand my horizons and learn more about humanity? Money doesn't last forever. The experience I've had so far in Thailand is priceless and worth more than any amount of money I could have spent on it. 

I've gotten this new dream since I've come here. Lately I've entertained the possibility of finishing my education and just peacing out. Finding a job in another country, getting my citizenship, and raising a family there. Kind of silly-sounding, but I've caught the travelling bug. I have loved every second of this country so far. This is my first time travelling outside of the states, and I can already tell it will be an addiction (which falls into the money argument I just made...because I'm predicting that in my future, I will be spending quite a bit on travel). I love the heat of the sun and the way the humidity makes my skin feel so glowing and healthy. I love the way the humidity makes my hair stand out in curls about 6 inches away from my face. I love feeling the sweat run down my back in delicate little streams. I love the smell of different meats cooking as I pass the street vendors. I love the bustle of Chinatown in Bangkok and how you have to clutch your purse close to your body when you get caught in a crowd. I love the devotion that I see in people bowing to Buddha because they have dedicated their whole lives to this religion. I love seeing the intricate details in the architecture that indicate the infinite amounts of time and dedication spent on one piece of artwork because it is just that important and sacred to you.

Inlaid mother-of-pearl was all over the Summer Palace and some of the temples we went to see.

I loved meeting my host family, but that first night I got really grumpy when our group of Farangs (sounds like Falongs - white people) reconvened. (I'm writing this several days after that last paragraph.) I was really intimidated earlier that day by the outgoingness and effort of some of our group to speak Hmoob with people and felt that I was so stupid and should have studied harder. I felt extremely insignificant and awkward and just wanted to go to bed and get out of the company of all my peers. I felt overwhelmed and a little lost. Communication with my mom started out really rough, and my dad speaks very little English (although I am grateful that he can speak at all). I didn't know how to interact with my brothers and sister, and what the heck was I doing here with people that I can't talk to unless I have a translator? They stare at me everywhere I go and laugh at the Farangs. And I know that sometimes, I'm just going to want a real shower and a western toilet. I've learned that for me, I get in these really bad moods, and I just have let it wear off. It's better if I don't complain about it or vent that often so that it just blows over once my perspective changes. Today, I feel amazing. I laughed with a group of school girls that I passed when I was getting lost because they saw a Farang coming and thought it was hilarious that she was trying to say "Nyob zoo" to them. I just grin at everyone I pass and try to learn as many random Hmoob words that I can. I've already improved with the language since I've arrived, and it's only been 2 days.

I just wish I could communicate more with these people. We often meet people and assume that their life begins when we meet them. That they have no past, that they are as we see them. But I see the cab driver and I think, "Where does he come from? What are his struggles? Why is he here? What has he gone through? Where is his family?"  But I've also learned that communication doesn't need to have a lot to do with speech. That is really important to me because after having arrived in the village, I can't communicate with my host mom (Niam Ntxawm) very well. She tries to teach me Hmoob words, and often we just laugh because we have no idea what the other is saying. I try to look up basic words in the dictionary, and my family helps me with pronunciation. If I can't communicate, I just pull up pictures to show her, or I try to give a gift or something. I smile and laugh a lot and always ask "Kuv pab koj ua tao?" (Can I help you?). I'm learning that there are such universal ways of non-verbal communication. One of our cab drivers in Bangkok spoke a little English, and we learned a bit about his family. So Jolysa pulled out her ukelele and started singing an impromptu song about the cab driver's life. He could recognize some of the words and knew the song was about him. He got a huge grin on his face and started to laugh along with the rest of us. I didn't admit this earlier, but I actually started tearing up because I was so incredibly happy in that one moment. That even though we couldn't understand each other, we made each other happy and enjoyed each other's human company. Small moments like this are the most memorable for me. I went to buy some pants at a market and indicated that the owner should choose which pants he wanted me to buy. He smiled and laughed and chose the ones that he liked for me. On our first morning in Chinatown, April and I went to get breakfast. I had previously been waving to everyone and quickly learned I looked like a dope. You're supposed to put your hands together and give a slight bow. So we went to get breakfast, and a street vendor tried to show us how much money we owed her. We laughed at our lack of understanding, and she humbly picked the coins from our hands and gave us our fried bread and soymilk. We left, but then I remembered to turn around and bow in thanks. It was somehow a beautiful moment of communication.

I've learned to cherish these moments because I had a really long conversation with some of the girls in my group the other day about how apprehensive we are about the future. Sometimes I become overwhelmed with the prospect of the struggles in my future. I see people who have been divorced, abused, mistreated, lonely, chronically ill, and so much more, and I just don't want to deal with any of those things. But life is worth living for the triumph of these struggles and those perfect moments like the one I described above. Because as I sat on my balcony overlooking the city of Bangkok with my scriptures open in my lap and my naturally frizzy hair blowing in the wind, life was perfect in that moment. Life has been awful at other moments, and some things will continue to hurt me. But life is perfect in that one happy, blissful moment. Nothing else matters. That's part of the reason I don't care about money. I want to find a career to serve people and one that will allow me to chase moments like this in a foreign country with the people I love. Because these are the moments worth living for. This is what life is about for me.

The perfect view from my hotel room.

This is why I care so much about studying people and culture. Like I said, I could do anything I want in terms of career. I believe that. But without the theory I've learned about people in the world, I would not care about life. I care about studying and understanding God's children to improve our interactions with each other. My areas of interest just tend to lie particularly in studying gender issues in this regard. The study of culture teaches you how to appreciate people and how to interact and communicate with them. It teaches you that you are small in this world but that you can do so much good if you choose to do so.

So with that in mind, I've been narrowing down my thesis and starting to pick women out for my case studies. We had the opportunity to speak with Dr. P. from Chang Mai about our projects, and we decided to narrow down my topic quite a bit. Instead of focusing on general women's attitudes toward the patrilineal structure, I will focus on women who have been spiritually cut off from their families and how that affects their status as a woman. For example, if a woman is divorced, she is spiritually cut off from her clan. The family council can discuss and help her situation, but she cannot be part of their rituals or be spiritually connected to anyone. The man has no punishment for divorce. A similar situation exists with women who have become impregnated out of wedlock, although this time the child is also spiritually disconnected from the clan. There is also a polygynous family that I know of where the first wife lives autonomously with her son, and the husband only comes to perform rituals for them. The professor's theory was that she chose not to divorce him because she would be spiritually cut off from her clan and would have to wait until her son had become a leader so she could reap the spiritual benefits from his leadership and new clan position. The second wife of this family is a female shaman, which means she has risen above her status as a woman and is higher than both common women and men. I am so excited to learn and ask about all of these dynamics.

In the meantime, I'm signing off to learn some more Hmoob. Peace and blessings :)

The Taste of Humble Pie

Some of the hardest days are those ones where you start re-evaluating who you are and deciding what you want to change about yourself. The ones where you realize you don't like the way you've been treating people or portraying yourself. And I've been kind of scared to death lately to go to Thailand and live with a family that I can't verbally communicate with. Am I going to appear polite enough? Am I going to be personable enough? Am I going to be helpful enough? Then I started panicking about who I am and how I come off to people here, too. I've had a billion of those "Oh, crap" moments this week. You know what I'm talking about. From the real life of Mary Cook:

"Oh, crap. Did I really just post that on my blog?" (My number 1 "Oh crap" moment yesterday as I was revising my first entry)

"Oh, crap. Did I really just say that super insulting statement? I'm not a jerk, I swear."

"Oh, crap. Did I really just walk into the men's bathroom?" (Haha. Proof that "Oh crap" moments aren't always the worst thing in the world....just hilarious.)

"Oh, crap. Did I really just get offended  and react that way over something that stupid?"

"Oh, crap. Did I really just give her advice that I can't even follow myself?"

"Oh, crap. Did I really just mess up that relationship?"

"Oh, crap. Did I really just blow him off because I am that mean of a person?"

"Oh, crap. Did I really just act that way around a guy that I like?"

"Oh, crap. Did I really just send that text in a moment of anger and hurt?"

"Oh, crap. Did I really just sound that emotional and over dramatic?"

And the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, reaching back to my awkward early teenage years when I couldn't bring myself to talk to a boy without turning tomato red. Or when I decided in 10th grade that my life would be easier if I just didn't talk at all. Or back to my childhood when I treated my siblings and parents like they were so dispensable  The truth is, I know that to some people, I'm that sad, quiet girl in Young Women's who was overly painfully shy (which people who know me now would never believe). Or that girl who said something really stupid and ignorant at work the other day. Or that girl who tries too hard to be outgoing and funny. The truth is, I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and I'm still trying to get comfortable in my own skin. I vividly remember back to about a year and a half ago, when I sat behind a door in the dorm hallway, called my dad, and started sobbing, asking him when I would get over my shyness. Asking him when I would be pretty and thin enough to catch a guy's attention. Asking him when I would stop caring so much about what people thought of me. So I moved into an apartment when the summer started and forced myself to be outgoing. And now that I am 97%  confident with who I am and 95% not shy, and now that I have roommates who can attest that I am not the same person now as I was growing up, I still am not satisfied with the person I have become. And I ate a huge, fat slice of humble pie this week. In fact, it was probably just as good as the pie that Minnie made in "The Help."

I think my resolve to become a "new" person since about a year and a half ago has gone a little overboard. In the changes I've made, I've become a little less sensitive toward other people. I've become a little bit less caring, and a little bit more hypocritical. I've become a little bit too hyper and attention-seeking at times, a little bit arrogant, and "a lot of bit" of a person who tries way too hard to be liked and who has made this matter entirely too much about herself. In trying to stop caring about what people thought of me, I started caring about it in a different way. I started to wonder if I was becoming one of those people I hated in high school, someone who I didn't consider "genuine" or sincere. And I sincerely apologize to anyone who I may have offended or brushed aside.

The truth is, I'm terrified to commit to someone because I know how easily I can mess things up. I know how overly emotional I can get and how dramatic I can be, and what a toll that can take on them. Thank goodness my parents will always love me no matter what, because I would hate to listen to myself sometimes the way they listen to me worry and fret and go over possibilities a billion times through. I have been anything but perfect. I draw comfort from the fact that I have always tried to do my best, though.

I just realized it sounds a lot like I'm beating myself up right now, and I don't want to give you the impression (since I'm making this post about humility) that humility is about beating yourself up. It's not. I probably also sound like I really dislike myself. Haha, I don't. In fact, in the past year and a half, I've gained a huge amount of appreciation for the person that I am becoming and the potential that I have. I'm just taking a step back and realizing that there are so many ways that I need to improve. I'm trying to take control of my blind spots and figure out how I need to change.

So back to Thailand? I just got way off track, but it all relates, I promise. I'm going to admit now that the biggest reason I've been looking forward to Thailand is because I know it will be a growing experience. I'm excited to see what kind of person it shapes me to be, and what kind of new perspectives about the world it will give me. I want to come back and think less about myself. I want to come back more comfortable with myself because I think less about myself. And I want to come back knowing what it's like to put myself in the shoes of someone different from me in order to experience true empathy.

And so I decided that the best way to approach this journey, as well as life, is with the attitude of humility. I'll be entering a culture as a complete outsider, who doesn't speak the language, who doesn't know Hmong etiquette or customs very well, and who just wants to make a difference somehow. This is a humbling realization within itself, but then I realized that this applies to life in general so well. How often do I interact with people and assume that I know their situation? And that I know what "type" of person they are? Pretty often. How often do I have a complete understanding of someone else's "language" or "customs" who I interact with on a daily basis? Never. And so I will choose to start living more fully by Elder Busche's advice: "Never judge anyone. When you have accepted this, you will be freed."

I'm finally understanding how to be confident and humble at the same time. These attributes aren't mutually exclusive. True confidence comes from the acknowledgement that you are a divine son or daughter of Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother and that you are entitled to their love and blessings. True humility comes from the realization that without God, you would be nothing. All that you have and are, He has lent you (except for your agency, which is freely yours). Compared to God, we are mere infants. What do we really know about the mysteries of eternity and the universe? Our perspective on earth is so limited by a billion factors. Next to God, I know practically nothing. But I know the important things that will help me get back to Him. And even if you aren't religious, what do we, as humans, really know anyway? From our limited sociocultural perspective and filter through which we live our lives?

Humility is not about dwelling on all of your flaws, which we do all too often anyway. As you start caring about others more, you will realize that you don't know all that much, and you will stop caring about yourself quite so much. You will become more confident in your identity. Here are my latest words of advice, mostly to myself:

*Look for blind spots in your behavior that may be harming others. As you do so, you will understand what areas need change and how you can start treating people better.

*Look for people around you who need a friendly smile or word. As you care about other people more, your own problems become less important and less debilitating.

*Acknowledge the flaws that you have. BUT. Realize that we are given weaknesses to become strong. What would be the point of life if you had no weaknesses? There would be no moments of triumph in overcoming hard things.

*Avoid rush and haste (again, in the words of Elder Busche). Consider carefully what actions you are planning to take and how they will affect the people around you. (This includes the words that are about to come out of your mouth!)

*Don't beat yourself up. I have a tendency to ruminate on my weaknesses and faults, and sometimes I feel like my future is hopeless because I'm going to keep messing up anyway, so what's the point of going on? I feel destined to recreate the circumstances that I've come from. Yep. You'll keep messing up. You're human. You have weaknesses. Life is really going to stink sometimes. But you will only keep improving if you set your mind to it.

*Never speak an unkind word. In your moments of humility, you will always regret speaking in such a way, even if you don't feel bad about it at the time.

*Be patient with others. We are all at different points in our lives. We are our own worst critics. The fact of the matter is, someone that you dislike may dislike themselves as well. They may not like the same things that you dislike about them, and they are trying desperately to change. Give people the benefit of the doubt. They are inwardly pleading for you to be patient with them and to forgive them for their pasts. I know that the one thing I would ask of all my family members is to realize that I know how stupid I've been and that I'm sorry.

*Be patient with yourself. Remember how I said we're pretty much all infants in this universe? Well, I'm never going to shout at a baby for falling down while he's learning to walk. So treat yourself similarly.

*Just. Relax. Don't worry so much about everything. Adopt an attitude of peace and confidence. This will, again, come more easily as you focus on treating others kindly.

*Resolve to use your God-given talents in the areas in which He directs you to use them, to bless the lives of other people.

*Turn over your will to God. He knows what you need. And when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, keep in mind that He can. Sometimes we reach the end of something hard and realize we were supposed to go through it in that way so that we could help someone else through our experiences, or so that we could grow in a particular way.

*Remember that there is something profoundly wonderful about every human being. -Michael Wesch.

With all of this being realized on my part, I'll "segue" (not so smoothly) into the paper I wrote as a literature review of the theories behind my choice of topic - power and agency in Hmong women.

The general gist of my project is in sections A and B. Feel free to keep reading if you want to learn about the theory behind this topic. I left out my methods section, but basically I'll be conducting extensive interviews, surveys, participant observation, etc.

A. Statement of Intent

              This proposed research aims to evaluate the extent to which Hmong women in Thailand experience gender-based oppression and in what areas of their lives they exhibit power and agency.  As part of this, I will evaluate women’s attitudes toward the patrilineal structure of Hmong society.  In doing so, I will add to the academic literature speaking to multicultural women’s issues and gender-based violence.

B. Background and Significance

Often, as members of Western culture, we make automatic assumptions concerning the happiness and welfare of women in other nations.  White western feminism has taught us to view other cultures as perpetually oppressive of their women.  We have also generally grown to believe that any progressive women’s movements in “developing” cultures are merely western imports and not implicit parts of the culture’s progression.  While instances of gender-based oppression do exist in multicultural settings, this research aims to examine whether or not Hmong women really do feel “under the thumb” of their husbands and the patriarchal/patrilineal system.  In what areas of life do these women feel the most powerful and agentive?  Do they struggle to feel valued and important as women?  What actions do they take in their personal lives to combat gender-based insecurities, if they do indeed exist?  As an integral part of this project, I aim to scope out women involved in some of the Hmong gendered cultural practices for extensive interviews as part of case studies.  These women may include a newly married bride living in her in-laws’ home under the supervision of her mother-in-law, a first or second wife of a polygynous family, and possibly a victim of some form of gender-based violence.  By delving deeply into a few women’s lived experiences with cultural gender-based structures, I will gain significant insight into these women’s feelings about patriarchy and gender-based equality.  In consequence, I will be able to better understand and communicate what elements of progressive women’s ideologies may be implicit in Hmong culture.

F. Preliminary Research

Power and Agency in Hmong Women

            No matter what culture one belongs to, gender holds enormous implications for cultural behaviors, occupations, family roles, social roles, education, and religious beliefs.  Simon de Beauvoir infamously suggests that “one is not born, but rather becomes a woman” (Butler, 1986, p. 35).  This assertion presents the issue that gender is culturally acquired.  If a woman is born in the United States, for example, she has little choice but to be identified as a woman because of her anatomy.  Because she is born with a female’s body, she grows up in a culture which treats her as a woman and determines her gender roles as a woman.  Butler (1986) explains that the “distinction between sex and gender has been crucial to the long-standing feminist effort to debunk the claim that anatomy is destiny; sex is understood to be the invariant, anatomically distinct, and factic aspects of the female body, whereas gender is the cultural meaning and form that body acquires, the variable modes of that body’s accumulation” (p. 35).  Many feminist theories arise from the supposed injustice that physiology should determine what an individual can and cannot do and who an individual should or should not marry along with a multitude of other social behaviors. 

In such cultures where physiology serves as the main determinant of gender roles, women theoretically react to patriarchy in ways influenced by their culture and upbringing.  Such patriarchy is often viewed by researchers as a ruling power.  Ortner (1974) asserts that this “secondary status of women in society is one of the true universals, a pan-cultural fact” (p. 5).  This literature review investigates some of the possible multicultural factors involved in developing certain reactions and attitudes toward patriarchal gender practices, especially concerning the context of Hmong society.  Concerning women’s “secondary status,” this research will also aim to discover whether or not Hmong women suffer from such a hierarchy, how their gender helps create identity through their interactions with others (Schein, 2000), and how they view themselves in such a patriarchal context.

Cultural gender practices directly influence an individual’s daily tasks and actions.  Anthropologist Victor Turner suggests that social behavior arises out of these repetitious acts (Butler, 1988, p. 526).  An individual is not merely a blank page written on and pre-determined by culture; his or her complete agency is also altered by the influence of setting and social norms.  Gender then becomes a product of individual actions influenced both by culture and individual repetitious acts.  The resulting power and agency among women in any culture is determined by complex interactions between social norms, individual and collective reactions to such norms, resistance, and acceptance. This literature review focuses on an approach to studying elements of power and agency of Hmong women in a Thai village from a cross-cultural viewpoint.  In understanding the theories behind studying these so-called elements of feminism in another cultural context, there will be a greater level of preparation to study how Hmong women experience patriarchy and react to it. 

 Feminism and Multiculturalism

Over time, the word “feminism” has slowly evolved into a collage of inconclusive definitions, partly due to a focus on multicultural tolerance and ending oppressive practices all over the world.  Okin (1999), however, explores the idea that multiculturalism and feminism often clash in a liberal culture.  While liberal settings embrace the idea of cultural acceptance and often provide exceptions to the rule concerning group rights, this notion can threaten feminist ideals.  For example, sometimes a first-degree murderer will receive a lowered charge to second-degree murder because he will use a cultural defense in that it was “culturally acceptable” for him to kill his wife because of her disloyalty.  Or take, for example, the “kidnap and rape by Hmong men who claim that their actions are part of their cultural practice of zij poj niam, or ‘marriage by capture’” (p. 18).  Advocates of group rights and multiculturalism involving similar practices can thus harm feminist ideals and the universal protection of women. 

While Okin’s article points out current threats to modern feminism, others see holes in her arguments.  Pollitt (1999) disagrees with Okin’s dire assessment of multiculturalism and its harmful effects on feminism.  In Pollitt’s view, Okin’s arguments can hardly be seen as controversial.  Feminism lays in contrast to the moral relativism promoted by multiculturalism.  Feminists often disagree about how to act, when to act, what actions are appropriate to take, and what true equality even means.  The issue of implementing group rights brings up an important question: what is culture, how do you define it, and essentially how and under what circumstances do you protect it?  Also, in terms of cultural defense, it is important to call into question the legitimacy of such cultural claims.  A husband from China may say it was culturally acceptable to kill his wife because of disloyalty, but does this legality really exist in China?  We must take a closer look at the defense such people create and seriously call into question the value of multiculturalism and tolerance.  Perhaps when administrations allow girls to maintain traditional cultural dress in schools and believe they are demonstrating tolerance, they are in fact (on a subjective basis) ignoring their desires to rid themselves of family oppression.  Al-Hibri (1999) also responds to Okin critically in identifying three important flaws in her article: “stereotypical view of the ‘Other,’ a conflation of distinct belief systems, and conflict with American constitutional principles” (41).  According to Al-Hibri, Okin’s discourse is actually fairly condescending and looks at some cultures as requiring Western intervention.  Okin relies heavily on secondary sources and thus misinforms her readers, especially about matters of religion and gender views.  Al-Hibri believes that Okin treats culture and religion as interchangeable and in effect disregards the American constitutional principle of the separation of church and state and the premise that as reformists, we should not be interfering in others’ religions.  In other words, by stating that religious tolerance and multiculturalism may in fact be harming feminist ideals, Okin seeks to interfere with other cultures’ religious practices.

On a similar vein, Gilman (1999) offers a sarcastic response to Okin’s essay and interprets Okin’s argument in that all people would be happy if they abandoned barbaric practices, especially those similar to “those horrible Jews” who performed male circumcision.  In Gilman’s view, according to Okin, women become free through ridding themselves of all ritual activity that is “different” from others.  In terms of female genital mutilation, Gilman basically poses that Westerners have no place in judging the detriments of the practice because we have a different view and perception of pleasure than others.  As such, Okin represents a narrow view and fails to recognize the rituals in her own world that impact her view of others.  Gunning (1992) would agree with this assessment as she uses the example of female genital surgeries to question what right a Western feminist has to criticize another culture’s gender-related practices and whether or not law should be used to eradicate such practices.  She argues that such laws can be enforced only if the process is a multicultural effort to come to a consensus.  Gunning approaches her argument through a three-pronged process that includes understanding historical context of one’s own interests, understanding how one impacts the “other’s” world (being able to see oneself through the other woman’s eyes), and trying to understand a woman through her own eyes.  Arrogant ethnocentrism pervades the study of gender-based practices in the academic world; we must learn how to understand culture while studying it.  Disgust with another culture’s practices is not necessarily wrong within itself; as humans, we learn to ascribe to a set of moral values.  However, it is essential to at least temporarily set aside these personal assumptions of morality to understand another culture’s practices.  In attempting to study feminism from a multicultural viewpoint, then, it will be necessary to remove underlying assumptions of either extreme tolerance or intervention and find a middle-ground from where no judgments are immediately made.  The first area of research will focus on basic attitudes toward Hmong patriarchy rather than the gender practices themselves.  From attitudes, research will move toward gender roles and ritual practices, keeping in mind attitudes toward the gender system as a whole for the duration of the research.  Then attitudes toward specific gender practices will be assessed.

Feminism from a Cultural Viewpoint

            The word “feminism” originally appeared in a western context.  As such, many theorists continue to believe that feminism is an inherently Western concept.  Through investigating the presence of power and agency in Hmong women, this research aims to overturn this Westernized notion.  Chanda and Owen (2001) explore the question of whether or not feminism truly exists in Asia.  They ultimately assert that the idea of feminism is merely a western import and thus not a legitimate focus of study in Asia.  Typically, the word ‘feminism’ holds a connotation of the white, middle-class struggle for equality and even lesbianism (p. 90).  According to Chanda and Owen, we often see other cultures maintaining the typical tradition of keeping women in the home, and, in consequence, we feel the need to change the system.  As such, feminists are often labeled as aggressive and “man-hating,” not only by fellow Americans but by Asians as well.  Asian men often feel uncomfortable labeling themselves as feminists even while sympathetic to the cause of feminism (Chanda and Owen, 2001).  Should we instead use the term “womanist” to avoid Western and white bias?  Chanda and Owen further explain the hopeless persistence of Western influence on Eastern culture and consequentially conclude that Eastern feminism is not a legitimate concept because of Western influence.

Even while feminism may not exist cross-culturally as the same root concept, implicit beliefs about gender roles exist in more than Western society.  Instead of labeling these beliefs as the complicated and often ambiguous concept of feminism, this research will center on how Hmong women exhibit power and agency in a patriarchal society.  In looking at how to approach such power and agency, one must carefully consider and leave behind strong, preconceived notions of feminism and patriarchy.  According to the McDonaldization theory, globalization (for example, concerning the global expansion of a fast-food restaurant such as McDonald’s) spreads Western culture to “underdeveloped” nations and inevitably leads to the progression of such countries toward a more Western atmosphere (Hickman, personal communication, February 5, 2013).  However, Western influence in one country holds a completely different set of meanings than the origin of such influence.  For example, McDonald’s in some places in South America can be a high-end, unaffordable place to eat.  Thus, Western perception of its own influence is skewed because other areas of the world are not merely adopting Western practices and adapting to Western culture as one would suppose.  Rather, they are maintaining and adding to current culture and creating a whole new set of meanings separate from Western thinking.  In a similar fashion, many Westerners may incorrectly tend to believe that without progressive Western influence, such “underdeveloped” nations would have no inherent concept of feminist issues.  Throughout the years of gender research in the social sciences, the concept of feminism has become blurred and lost most of its meaning.  Because of the myriad of connotations feminism holds in multicultural settings, it is difficult to look at any other culture and approach a topic in women’s studies by labeling it as feminism.  Instead, the terms “power” and “agency” will refer to the study of Hmong women’s reactions to and attitudes toward a patriarchal setup.

            When studying women’s issues in a multicultural setting, one must consider the common misconceptions that occur regarding certain cultural practices and the assumed resulting oppression.  Mahmood (2001) takes a look at the meaning of ritual in culture and how it relates to informal activity and socially constructed behavior.  She specifically analyzes the women in Egypt who practice salat (prayer) and how it enhances their sense of piety and will for constant religious improvement.  These women have had a comparatively large role in establishing mosque practices and pedagogical methods.  Mahmood approaches the question of how it is that these women have come to value piety above all else and focus on their moral capacities as women.  With a background in progressive politics, Mahmood (2005) admits that a viewpoint on these women in Cairo must be carefully considered.  She strives to remove her progressive bias and understand the motivation of these women to increase piety.  Feminists tend to look at Islamic women as ignorant pawns who bend to the will of patriarchy.  Mahmood dismisses such ignorance and urges readers to consider a broader scope of possibilities and truth.  Consider that perhaps the common perception of oppression of women in Islamic culture is skewed.  Rather, it may be beneficial to look at women’s piety as a religious movement rather than gender oppression: “Choice is understood not to be an expression of one’s will but something one exercises in following the prescribed path to becoming a better Muslim” (Mahmood, 2005, p. 85).  If closely inspected, this becomes a similar pattern in many religions across the globe.  Devoted members of a faith often explain that many religious practices which appear oppressive on the outside (such as withholding the Priesthood from women within the Latter-day Saint faith) are in fact based upon religious principles and require an act of faith on the part of its members. 

Loving Ignorance in the Face of Multicultural Women’s Issues

Part of this Hmong research aims to look at some implicit elements of “feminism” (or rather, power and agency) that may exist in Hmong culture.  In addressing such an issue, Ortega (2006) attempts to tackle the issue of “loving, knowing ignorance” in assessing the positions of women of color.  She analyzes other women’s work concerning this inherent state of arrogance.  These authors look at instances in which a male-dominated society places women in a low status as well as situations in which women demean other women (especially those of color).  Perceiving their situations with an arrogant eye serves as a sort of protection and ensures a higher place “on the totem pole.”  Ortega then goes on to explain possible reasons why this phenomenon may exist, including the idea that white women have become accustomed to the indoctrination of racism and sexism inherent in Western culture.  While some of these claims rest on assumptions themselves, there is something to be said for the general trend of white women (especially in middle-class America) viewing other cultures’ women as perpetually oppressed and lower in station.

            Many scholars become fascinated with the tendency in Western research to consider another culture’s gender practice and automatically assume oppression.  Take, for example, Menon & Shweder’s (1988) analysis of the lives of Oriya Hindu women, including their conceptions of the ideal woman’s life, current Oriya women’s issues and their effects, and doubts about previous research conducted on these women.  They discuss the cycles of life that are pertinent to a woman’s progression and their effect on status, conceptions, etc.  Also, the authors explore the idea that Western feminism makes incorrect assumptions about Oriya and other cultures’ ‘oppression of women:’

The scholars who portray Hindu women as passive victims focus on the differences that they, as Western observers, see in the life circumstances of the female Hindu ‘other,’ and they are sensitive to (and feel great empathy for) the situations of the most unfortunate Hindu women…For example, they blame Hindu religion (which they interpret as mere ideology rather than as a sacred and factual explanation of social and physical phenomena) for the ‘subordination and subjection of women’…Such feminist writers tend to project an image of ‘the Hindu woman’ as tame, domesticated, bound by tradition, intellectually unsophisticated, and sexually constrained. (Menon & Shweder, 1988, pp. 151-52)

As such, Hmong female practices must be investigated without assuming a level of oppression or any malicious resistance against such practices.  Menon (2002) describes an instance where researchers hastily concluded that a woman who poured too much salt into her husband’s food was revolting against the patriarchal system and oppressive gender practices.  Rather than assuming such oppression and resistance, investigation will focus on relationship dynamics in the home—for example, whether or not women ever feel ‘under the thumb of their husbands’ (Hickman, personal communication).  Compare this with the findings of Patricia Symonds (2004) and her claims about the pattern of patrilineality in the concept of “Hmongness.”  She writes:

The Hmong lineage, spiritual rituals, and public life are male.  Hmong women as well as men say that “maleness is Hmong” and believe that even if every Hmong woman died or ran away, the patriline would continue because Hmong men would be able to marry women from other groups, and those women would then become Hmong.  If, however, all Hmong men were to die, Hmong society, or “Hmongness,” would cease to exist.  If daughters marry non-Hmong men, they too will become non-Hmong, as will their children.  Only by being part of the lineage of one’s father, grandfather, and great-grandfather…can one “honor the ancestors.” (p. 8)

Symonds suggests that the very essence of “Hmongness” relies on the men of the society.  Compare this to the Bedouin people, who strongly prefer males to females.  The Bedouins have an “avowed preference for sons” (Abu-Lughod, 1986, p. 119) and greet the birth of baby girls with mourning.  While this may not be the exact case in a Hmong context, a patrilineal clan system is still evident.  Interviews during the project will explore the concept of Hmongness and how gender roles in the village relate to this concept.  It is therefore important to question Symonds’ findings.  She employs Western assumptions by saying that Hmong women’s oppression will drastically change because “as Hmong women encounter and absorb Western freedoms [such as education and birth control], they, like Western women, both benefit and suffer from the changes brought about as traditional protections are discarded or lost and new freedoms are obtained” (p. 174).  Rather than assuming that the level of oppression will change because of westernization, I will instead investigate if and to what extent these women experience oppression separate from western influence.  Main methods of investigation revolve around semi-structured interviews and case studies.  I will avoid using pre-constructed multicultural gender studies scales because of cultural differences (Gibbons, Hamby & Dennis).  If any instances of gender-based violence (GBV) are evident during research, these will be further explored as well.  Lemoine (2012) postulates that such Hmong instances of GBV are remnants of Chinese influence and not directly related to Hmong cultural practices.  However, if such adopted practices occur, they are an implicit part of the women’s thoughts and feelings about patriarchy and should be investigated as opponents to feelings of power and agency.

Another point of investigation is the dynamics of polygyny in Hmong society and the situations in which women find themselves as a first wife.  Sometimes, a man starts a family with one woman and eventually marries a younger woman later in life (Hickman, personal communication).  The first wife often lives autonomously in a separate dwelling.  While still married to this man, she has no other financial or domestic ties to him.  They simply live apart.  Research will focus on the power system that results from this relationship and how women view a system of patriarchy in this sense.  Are there feelings of oppression and abandonment?  Another potential point of research involves Hmong women’s activities in needlework and crafts as a part of history-recording and income (Long, 2008).  I will investigate the extent to which women in Paklang actively produced such handiwork and whether or not there is a resulting feeling of empowerment and usefulness.  The last main dynamic to be researched is the power relationship between a newly married woman and her mother-in-law.  A newly married Hmong couple typically moves in with the husband’s parents (Hickman, personal communication), and the wife becomes subject to the demands and scrutiny of her mother-in-law.  What are the effects of this gender practice?  In what domains does the mother-in-law hold power as opposed to the father-in-law?  These questions present a few of the issues that will be covered through interviews and participant observation over the course of the group’s research in Thailand.

References

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Post-General Conference Musings

This will probably be my last post on the LDS gender issues for awhile because....wait for it....I leave for Thailand in less than two weeks. This whole time, it's seemed like such a distant dream that now I'm not sure how I feel about it. Excited, yes, but also wondering what the heck I'm getting myself into. But part of adventure is the unknown. And so here I find myself on the brink of adventure, wondering where it will lead me.

But in the meantime, I've got some new developments! I talked to one of my anthropology professors a few weeks ago, wondering what in the world I am to do with my crazy enthusiasm for gender studies. I began to explain to him the reasons for my passion and what I hope to do with it. Eventually came the answer that I had been dreading to hear....that everything I was saying led to social work. I just felt that social work was something pushed under the rug, something no one cared about unless they needed to use it. But once I started researching options in social work, I realized that all of my goals can be achieved in this field. My core belief that led me to be a psychology major (because even in middle school, I knew I would pursue psychology because of this reason) is that if you can help someone overcome the obstacles in their life, they can rise to their greatest potential and become the person they've always wanted to be with the level of happiness they deserve to have.

Perhaps an obstacle comes in the form of sexual or physical abuse. Perhaps it is depression and feelings of inferiority. Perhaps the person being held back by obstacles is a woman raped by her home teacher who had suspected she was a lesbian (yes, true story). This woman's bishop warned her not to report the incident. Yes, even Priesthood leaders in the church are human and fall short of our trust sometimes.  I guess part of the reason that I'm so passionate about LDS gender studies is that these things do happen but are so often dismissed. I am not suggesting that these incidences come about as a result of the Church, but rather from the mortal and human components of the Church. The structure of this Church exists in a fallen world, and many associated evils infiltrate and destroy families. While I haven't been able to pin down one completely reliable source, most in-depth statistics portray that Mormon divorce rates are really not much better than general divorce rates. We are so quick to believe otherwise -- our perception is often skewed because a lot of church divorces avoid the complicated sealing cancellation process and only deal with a civil divorce. The number of divorces I've heard about lately in the church is through the roof. A bishop who became addicted to pornography after decades of a happy marriage. An abusive husband who had been struggling with same-sex attraction but never told his wife. A couple who didn't know each other's intentions in marriage as well as they believed they had. And dozens more. In so many instances (not all, but many), women are the victims of some form of marital abuse and are left with no way but to leave a marriage and try to rebuild their lives. My career goal is to aid women in empowerment and resolving conflict in their lives that comes about from things they have control over. Because we do, in fact, have an enormous amount of control over how we handle our circumstances, and while time must be allowed for healing and coping, we can become happy people. So why do I care? Why does this sector of psychology appeal to me? Because I can connect with some of these issues through personal experience, even though by the grace of God I've only been given so much as I can handle. But I've been given enough to be able to empathize and feel a strong connection with many of these women who struggle. I have finally found a purpose in my education -- a reason to pursue the path in front of me.

April's General Conference showed a remarkable focus on families and gender.  Many of the speakers touched on the rampant misperceptions that cause suffering in our members. We [men and women] say we are different but still equal. But do we really believe it? We say that a nurturing mother achieves the same level of status as a full-time working father. But do we believe it? Do we actually believe that the difference between men's and women's roles still means complete equality? Majority of the time, in this fast-paced, competitive nation, the answer is no. I don't think most people (even in the church) believe it even though they say it and they want to believe it. We have been raised in a culture where different means unequal. And it takes much more than saying what you want to believe in order to actually believe it. So in consequence, many women suffer from feelings of inferiority and loneliness and become subservient to their husbands in matters of sexuality, work, family relationships, and so much more. Which is why I fell in love with this quote from Elder Ballard:

"In our Heavenly Father’s great priesthood-endowed plan, men have the unique responsibility to administer the priesthood, but they are not the priesthood. Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife. And as husband and wife, a man and a woman should strive to follow our Heavenly Father. The Christian virtues of love, humility, and patience should be their focus as they seek the blessings of the priesthood in their lives and for their family."

I don't see a rigid separation of roles in this teaching. I don't see anything saying that all women have to do this, and all men have to do that. Because while bearing children and the Priesthood are responsibilities of different genders, they are equally shared.  A husband has just as much responsibility to care for his children, and a wife has just as much responsibility to honor, understand, and call for the use of the Priesthood. I see a team in this. I see a single unit under God.

• Again, the leaders of this Church are aware of the struggles of women. They are not seeking to keep women in a secondary place. They care. Take a look at this video that the women leaders of the Church took part in as a loving response to recent a recent upheaval in the fight for "equality" between men and women. I'm going to be honest. I have felt confused about my role as a woman before. At times, I've felt conflicted about what kind of education to get because I don't want to have to consider my gender when considering what I want to do with my life. Sometimes, I don't like the general model of the Proclamation. And I have struggled with the idea of equality between men and women. But through my studies, I have found comfort in discovering that in the eyes of God, men and women are truly equal. I may not understand why men can have the authority of the Priesthood, but I know that I have equal access to the blessings of the Priesthood and an equal responsibility to call for its use. I am acting in faith that God will not let anything hinder the work of His Church and that the Prophet and Apostles are leading this Church under His guidance. As the scriptures say, nothing will stop the work of God in this age. This Church is not corrupt. I have also found comfort in the idea that no matter the judgment of others, I can do whatever I know is right for me if it is right in the eyes of God. Because I care about God's opinion of me a whole lot more than anybody else's.

I am a feminist not because we need to change the Church, but because we need to realize some of the ways in which the social structure of the Church functions and interacts, and how it can sometimes cause harm to certain people. I don't think we will ever, in this life, rid ourselves of all of this harm. Again, we live in a fallen world, which will find ways to infiltrate our families. Opposition will happen. But on an individual basis, I plead with you to rid yourself of these influences and act with the confidence that comes from following the Savior. As long as your decisions sit right with God, nothing else matters.


To wrap up, I call for greater understanding among the members of the church. We so often impose our views on others because we think ours is the right answer. From the time we start our education as children, we are constantly in search of the one right answer, trying to avoid getting any red marks on our papers. Besides matters of doctrine, I believe that there are many answers out there. I don't think there's one right way to handle any political issue or one right way to structure a family. I call for greater understanding and tolerance. We need to stop pretending we know all the answers, especially when it comes to other people's circumstances and things that don't involve pure doctrine. Don't be hasty to form a concrete or universally applicable opinion. Seek the value in other people's ideas; you will only grow as a result. More often than not, there is more than one answer.

I don't think I could say it better than this woman interviewed for the Claremont Oral History Collection (in the book Mormon Women Have Their Say):

• "I think that family values are wonderful and something that I definitely want to take to heart. I do feel like the family can be overly structured for people, overly defined and our discussions about gender and the church are kind of painful for me because I feel like we're quite rigid sometimes saying men are inherently this way and women are inherently this way, therefore men should do these things and women should do these things. That has not been my experience...I think of Elder Oaks, specifically where he's talked about marriage and family, talked about the fact that there are always exceptions to rules. But since he's giving a general talk he will talk about the rules and I think that those kinds of statements are important to me. I think that's the kind of attitude I'd like to see fostered in the Church a little bit more. That we teach the principles of the Gospel and we trust individuals that they are able to implement them in their lives in an appropriate way" (63).

I was talking to a friend about my blog, and he asked me to what end I was writing all of this. What am I trying to accomplish? So here's the answer. I'm not venting. I'm not criticizing. Through all of these discussions, I am simply asking you to take control of your own life. Nevermind the social pressures you face that are telling you to be one way or another. Nevermind the people who believe that there is one right way to live. Disregard those who put you down, and prayerfully figure out what is best for you. Because all that matters is that you are right with God. People will criticize and judge along the way. Forget them. Brush everything off your shoulders and remember the root of your purpose here on earth. You have a duty to love and to serve and live your life to the best of your potential. Stay true to yourself, but first and foremost stay true to God. Realize that people here on earth are different for a reason. We're not all supposed to become the same person. You have an immeasurable amount of divine potential simply because you are a child of a divine Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. This is our heritage. 

I'm done writing now, but here's some food for thought. I really like what Jackson Katz has to say about how "women's issues" are just as much about men as they are about women. Take a look!